porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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