Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
