GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
