wat bout pragnant strippers??
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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