This is not my ceiling
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
