It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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