i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
