You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
