that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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