ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
