We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize