Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
