I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
