The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
