That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
