Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize