Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
