Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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