wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
