I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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