Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
