We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
