found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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