ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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