good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
