I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
