and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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