oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
