dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
