Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
