If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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