I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
