hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
