You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
