I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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