You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
