i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize