would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dignity is for republicans.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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