She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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