Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
