So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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