I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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