Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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