I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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