i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
