My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
