Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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