I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
