Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
