He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
