Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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