dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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