We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
