Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We had sex on a dog bed..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
