I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
