yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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