susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
