Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize