We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
