this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
