I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
