so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
