Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
