Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
